I need to post more, because it would mean I am writing more. Only whenever I think of something I want to say I am not able to sit down and write it, and then later I can no longer remember what I wanted to say.

I am in the midst of some tough emotional struggles right now, made worse by my still being smack dab in the middle of post-partum mood swings. I feel as though I spend nearly as much energy each day to drown out the lies that seem to appear in my head at every turn as I spend on my actual life. And lately--for some reason I cannot really identify--anytime more than 2 noises happen at once I begin to shut down. Sometimes I literally begin to freeze up physically and have to force myself not to cover my ears and hum to drown it all out. This does not make it easy to live in a house with 3 ridiculously verbal and articulate young children, a baby who cries occasionally, a husband who finds silence stifling and tends to fill it with loud music or games that include screaming children, and a teenager who isn't really all that loud but turns the volume up on every. single. thing. always. no matter what. I'm not sure what that's all about but it is frustrating and moderately inconvenient.
On the plus side I have noticed I am finally after nearly 30 years of work making progress on controlling my horrendously quick temper. I catch myself remembering to stop and breathe deeply and slowly in and out before I answer a child, so that my answer isn't ground out between clenched teeth or shouted out angrily as though said child has done something life threatening. Usually it is more along the lines of "Mom can I have more cereal?" or "Mom, if batman was a bad guy and fought Superman, who would win?" Thus not things that ought to elicit rage. Except, you know for the weird auditory overload thing.
Onward and upward, as my mother used to say.