hitchhiking on someone else's idea

Today I watched a video about marriage, posted by a fellow blogger. She's a wise woman who thinks complicated issues through with a clarity I admire. The part that stood out to me was(paraphrased): "If you see marriage as a way to get your needs met, you will be disappointed. You have to learn to view marriage as a life of service."

Wow. Not that I didn't know that, but honestly wow. Serving others in any fashion isn't exactly a hot trend here in America, so to hear this about one of the most fundamental relationships in society is jarring. But I needed to hear this today, in this season. To be reminded that the important, relevant thing is to serve and not seek to be served. To hear that other people know how difficult this can be, when life is crazy and things feel topsy-turvy is a wonderful thing to hear. To know that my own needs, while important, should not be the focus of my life is as freeing as it is subversive. Sometimes I think my biggest problem in finding satisfaction or fulfillment(2 horrendously over-used jargon words I dislike using) is that I seek it out in all the wrong places. Rather than complain no one notices how hard I work, I should be noticing how hard others work, especially Bob and the kids.(yes all that playing kids do is hard work! But that's another post entirely)
Rather than resent people who seem to have it easier, I should try to help those who have it harder and see their struggles as opportunities for me to be Jesus to a hurting world. This kind of behavior does not come naturally to me; I admit it. I like to get my way and have things work out according my own plans and timelines. I don't enjoy struggles or un-met wants. I don't like when people who love me call me on my own shortcomings--especially if they're right.
But that is probably the point my blogger friend is making. Marriage--or life in general as this post seems to have become about--isn't supposed to be about giving me what I like or even what I want. It's supposed to be God's way of providing for what I need and growing me into the person He created me to be and helping display his extravagant love for us to the world.
Huh. All that from a few sentences on an 8 minute video. who knew?

ps the video can be seen here: http://shelaughsatthedays.blogspot.com/2011/07/husbands-are-not-accessories-plain-talk.html