Not much to say

I honestly don't have much to write today, but I just feel compelled to post something. I am trying this year to pay more attention to the little internal nudges and pokes I feel sometimes, and doing something about them instead of brushing them off. I feel as though it helps me stay more centered, more in touch with what my heart actually wants rather than what I feel pressured to accomplish. So I am writing on my blog, even though there are floors to sweep and laundry to fold and some projects I should finish soon.

And yes, I realize I have posted in the past about my tendency toward laziness and this may seem like an excuse to cultivate a poor habit. Maybe it is, but I don't think so this time. The last several months I have been weaning myself off a fairly serious tv addiction, and off aimless web surfing just to kill time. I've actually done quite well at it and I'm proud of myself. :) At first it just seemed like I was bored more often or did a better job of engaging with my kids. And those are ok--I'm a firm believer that a little boredom helps kickstart the creative parts of our brains and thus serves a purpose--but lately I've just noticed that my mind feels less crowded. Less hectic and over-full of pointless noise. I'm an introvert with a predisposition to introspection, so the inside of my head often feels noisy and chaotic to me. Which I suppose may sound weird, but whatever I'm weird. Get used to it.

Anyway, all this selective deprivation has left me much more room to breathe emotionally and mentally and I LOVE it! I feel so much less like my brain will explode, so much less like hiding from my life on the days things are crazy(which is pretty often with 4 kids). It just feels nice to not be in a constant state of frenzied anxiety over my inability to process all the input i was receiving each day. A lot of evenings, Bob and I just sit in our living room and chat while I fold laundry, or even just sit. Or he reads on his ipad while I read a book. It's quiet and relaxing and I savor the feeling of cozy, contented evenings with no useless noise.

And less useless noise means I more often have time and space to hear the still, small voice inside me that prompts me to reach out to others, or to pray or serve or just care for those I love better. I notice more when my kids behaviors may need deeper examination than it seems at first glance; I can keep my cool when they test me and give them a firm, loving, gentle response instead of shouting; I remember to hug them often and compliment them on their positive qualities, not just correct the negatives; I think I love my husband better too and see him more clearly for who God made him. Overall I like it and I plan to keep it up.

So in summary, our parents were right and tv does rot my brain. Who knew? :)