Sunday, July 4, 2010

The FAM

So the thing about me is, I come from an enormous family. Seriously. My extended family is practically its own country there are so many of us. If only I were exaggerating a little. And I have to say that I LOVE it. Its true Thanksgiving can be a bit chaotic when 50 of my aunts, uncles, cousins and their spouses and children sit down to dinner, but we make it work. And yes, sometimes we argue, or people fight or so and so isn't talking to thus and such because large families, like junior high, have drama. That being said, I cannot explain how much I enjoy showing up at a house full of people I haven't seen in months--or years, or sometimes ever before in my life(more on that later)--and being welcomed and hugged and helped with my active children and told to eat anything that looks appealing. I love to eat, and family gatherings always include food. We are an eating group; in fact I'm pretty sure this month we are single-handedly supporting the grocery and liquor economy of a certain suburb of St. Paul, Minnesota.

I should back up a bit and give some backstory here. First and foremost, my paternal Grandparents were each 1 of 6 siblings, and were devout Catholics. Thus, Nanna and Grandpa had 12 children, and most of their siblings had 5 or 10 more. Once you add up all the kids in my father's generation from both sides of his family you get something like 82 offspring. And a large number of those 82 offspring grew up and got married and had a least a few kids of their own, and now we kids are having kids, and the numbers are truly getting a bit ridiculous. Aside from the sheer size we have a few other quirks that make us unique. For example about 70% of these people still live in and around the St. Paul, Minnesota area. This means that unlike a lot of folks, I can recognize and name large groups of my 2nd and 3rd cousins. Even some 4th, if there is such a title. We see each other often enough that we can chat about jobs and kids and uncle Whoosit that did something crazy at the last family wedding. So geography and reproduction have worked together to create the perfect storm of and Irish/Polish version of the family in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Its fun. And insane. But mostly fun.
The other thing about my family is this: Nanna is hard core. When Grandpa passed away in the 1960s, she was left alone with no marketable job skills and 8 of her dozen children still living at home. She had her husband's pension to live on, but postal workers didn't exactly break the bank in those days so it didn't go very far. Did she move back in with her mother? Sign up for Welfare and Food stamps? Plead with her priest for help from the benevolence fund? Nope, not my Nanna. Instead, she packed up her kids and moved to Perth. As in the western coast of Australia. The far side of the planet from here. The currency exchange was in her favor at the time and she felt American culture was turning away from the values she held dear. So off they went, and they've mostly stayed there ever since. So I have 15 or 20 cousins here in the states, and the 20 or 25 more in the land down under. It can be sort of bizarre to hear updates about cousins I've never met, but a lot of them have made trips to see us and someday Bob and I will pack up our kids and go visit them too. We're having a reunion this summer and a bunch of them have travelled here to see us for several weeks. Its a good time.

So anyway, these days Nana is 93 and still lives on her own. She generally enjoys good health, still has all her marbles and her own teeth and goes along swimmingly. She has a lot of support from my family there, and takes it easy when necessary. She has built a life there and seems to be happy. But this year is different; this year is the 2010 family reunion and it is happening in Minnesota. So what does she do? Well she buys a ticket and packs a bag and traipses off the America to oversee the proceedings of course!!!

This woman amazes me. I cannot tell you how incredible I find her and her life. She has outlived her husband by more than 50 years, her twin sister by nearly 20, and 2 other siblngs as well. She moved away from her entire family to another country all alone and made a successful life for herself and her children. She has buried 3 of her children, one of whom lived with her at the time of her death. She is currently dealing with the decline of one of my aunts, who has alzheimers. There are countless hardships and struggles that could easily have made her bitter or crazy or just plain killed her. But she is still kind and and loving and laughs a lot. She gives her family as much time and prayer and support as she is able and it amounts to a lot. This week she was actually hospitalized during her visit for an infection that had us all worried but came home to my uncles house a few days later and was just as independent and stubborn as ever. She remembers names and faces of her grandchildren and their spouses and her great-grandchildren. (that amounts to about 80 names and faces, in case you were wondering) I am in awe of her. She is a force of nature, and I am so thankful her illness wasn't more serious and she will be with us a while longer. The reunion wouldn't be the same without her and neither would I. I need to write several more posts about all the goings on but first I have to sleep and then get up with my children in the morning. I'll do my best to keep you posted, assuming anyone ever reads this thing.