This will not be a post telling you what to think and how to vote!
Ok, just a short note to say a few important things. First, may I just say that while I wholeheartedly support democracy and elections and the freedom we enjoy in that process in this country, I hate political campaigns with a fiery passion? There is a depth of loathing in my soul I cannot adequately convey. All the nasty, mud-slinging, name-calling, polarizing, posturing just makes me crazy! By the time we hit October--especially in a presidential election year--I am ready to simply abdicate my rights as a citizen and hide under a rock on voting day. I won't actually do that but you get the idea right? Just once, I'd like the candidates to make clear, non-ambiguous statements about their beliefs regarding government and its role in our society. No wishy-washy mealy mouthed half opinions that can be spun 14 ways depending on the audience. No avoiding the issue by pointing the finger at the opponent's lack of humanity. Just "This is what I think and this is why and if you don't like it, please vote for the other guy." And then guess what? maybe all of us could get a clear idea of what they stand for, and what they stand against, and just maybe we could vote with a clearer conscience this year. I'm not a person who votes based on party lines or on only 1 or 2 "BIG" issues. I try to get a picture of the kind of person I'm electing, and whether I feel I can trust that person to make decisions they feel best serve our country and our needs. I couldn't care less which party supports them and I couldn't care less what religious beliefs they hold, if I feel they are a person of integrity and honesty. A person who will stand up for all citizens, not just those with money to throw around. Who will fight hard for what the believe is right, even if it costs them votes or points in the polls. Who just once, admits the "other side" might have a point on an issue. Pretty please candidates?
Secondary to all that is this: nothing is more likely to make me re-think my friendship with someone than their making any kind of "if you're a Christian you must vote ___" statement. My faith informs my choices, and that's good and right but that in no way means I believe my choices will be the same as yours. I'm fairly certain that if God can create a large and varied world and 7 billion unique people then he can totally handle differing opinions amongst his people. How about we all just realize Christ died for ALL, to save ALL and make ALL things new and leave it at that? God reveals himself to us in different ways based on who He created us to be, not based on how we vote or how loudly we denounce another group's stance. I mean, seriously as brothers and sisters in 1 body could we not just get along a little? I'm over it folks. Over. It. So please, let's all just vote and agree that it is the participation that is important for fulfilling our responsibilities as citizens not the specific side we take. This has the added benefit of allowing us to remain friends and co-workers and etc even if we don't vote the same way, which makes me happy, and life less stressful.
That is all for today.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
Ok the thing is:
Here's the scoop folks, and it isn't all that pretty. It may get long though. I am not a self starter. I have no intrinsic self discipline. If I am standing in my living room and the dishes are done, no one is hungry, the laundry is in a manageable state (it is NEVER done, so I no longer worry) and my bathroom does not present a health hazard I will simply not think to myself "I should vacuum, while I have a minute." It will not occur to me. Or if it does it will be followed immediately by "I'll get on that as soon as I eat/check facebook/email/sit for a minute." And then 30 mins later the window has closed, and I no longer have time to vacuum. Spontaneous chore initiation is not my gifting. I am not one of those uber productive women who homeschools 6 kids, shops thrift stores to plan ahead for a future need, then comes home to can 27 jars of tomatoes from my enormous, well tended garden. (See owlhaven.net for proof such a woman exists.) I'm just not. I'd like to be, because it seems like she gets more done.
I have been examining this trait in myself lately and found very little that is useful for changing it. It isn't that I'm not a hard worker--I actually love working hard at a satisfying task. It isn't even that I'm super dis-organized, because I have a few skills in that area; I do keep 4 children under 8 fed, clothed, reasonably clean, and usually know where to find the oh-so important thing they've just lost. I can be lazy, but honestly I think I'm mostly more tired. Last weekend while with 2 amazing friends for a weekend getaway I did some sobering math that still has my mind reeling. I may have said this before, so bear with me if you're bored ok? I have a point I promise. Anyway, I figured out that between when Kid was conceived in April of 2004 and Sunshine was born in April of 2011 I had 6 pregnancies, gave birth 4 separate times, and breastfed all 4 of those kids for at least 8 months. If I add the months I nursed Sunshine we hit December of 2011. Add that up I dare you. Not a mathematics fan? Ok, let me help you. 2004-2011=7 years. 7 years=84 months. Plus 8 months nursing Sunshine =92 months. 4 full term pregnancies + 2 miscarriages in first trimester = 44 months pregnant. I nursed my kids for 10.5, 10, 9.5 & 8 months respectively. 10.5+11+9.5+8=39 months breastfeeding. Can you see where this is going? This means that of 92 previous consecutive months leading up to 2012, I was either pregnant or nursing 83 months!!!! Can we just all soak that in a bit? Momma is TIRED!
My body was not 1 of those "oooh I just loooooove being pregnant and I feel great!" bodies. It hated me, and it wasn't at all sure it like the baby either. I always knew I was pregnant because I started feeling like I was about to come down with the flu; only I'd get morning sickness instead. I felt borderline flu-like throughout all my pregnancies, and obviously didn't get much sleep what with the bladder issues and etc. Also? My kids are not the kind of kids who sleep well--or late. Maybe we are just terrible sleep trainers, maybe they are just hyper like Bob & I, maybe there are gnomes in their closets whispering "wake up wake up, sleep is for the weak!" I don't know. I do know not 1 of them ever slept through the night before 8 months, and Boy held out for 13 months. And for him, once he slept 'all night' meant he woke up at 4:30am. EVERY. DAY. For 8 or 9 months.
Needless to say, I started this year worn out. Little by little I am feeling more able to cope, more able to feel hopeful and energetic and like I can face life and maybe even accomplish things. I rest a lot. I think that is a healthy, useful, acceptable way to spend a good portion of my free time. But this is America folks, and when I look around I just don't see people or places that value healthy, useful ways to spend my time. I see ads for places to go and things to do and "experiences you don't want to miss!" I see kids in school for 7 hours and then in activities for 3 or 4 more hours 5 days a week and several hours more on weekends. And parents who work crazy hours and then stay up all night hand sewing halloween costumes because "crafting is fun". Don't get me wrong, I love watching Kid play soccer, and I do actually enjoy crafty projects. But you know what? I also enjoy sleep. Sleep is God's way of restoring our bodies to balance and health. It keeps us strong and able to think clearly. And I can promise you I do not think clearly if I stay up past 10. 9 or 9:30 would be better, but 10 is the cutoff. When I read that I feel a little old. And a little like I am surely missing out on whatever it is I used to do at night before I had kids.
So how does all this relate to the first paragraph? Well, I am trying to find a way to help my non self-starting self to be more proactive, even it is only with housework. I have been really beating myself up the last few years over how much I don't accomplish in comparison to other people I know, or see on blogs or whatnot. And while it's true I have a lot of room to grow as far as setting achievable goals for keeping the wheels on this crazy little life of ours, I've come to realize 1 other important truth. This season of tiny children and their hundreds of thousands of needs is no walk in the park. I may shake my head at strangers in Target who consistently say "you sure have your hands full!" because I think they're ridiculous but guess what? I do, in fact, have both hands very very full. And I like it. I admit I don't enjoy parts of this journey that are mandatory if I am going to stay home with my children. I loathe laundry and I despise dishes and I can't stand cooking while people hang on my legs and whine. But I DO like raising my kids myself, and not stuffing them into day care. I DO like spending time with all of them each day and knowing what is going on in their heads and lives. I DO like that they know I'll be around.
So I guess I have to find the delicate balance between the reality of my physically labor intensive stage of life and wanting to feel like I've accomplished a concrete task or 2 each day. Anyone have any ideas? All 3 of my readers feel free to comment! :)
I have been examining this trait in myself lately and found very little that is useful for changing it. It isn't that I'm not a hard worker--I actually love working hard at a satisfying task. It isn't even that I'm super dis-organized, because I have a few skills in that area; I do keep 4 children under 8 fed, clothed, reasonably clean, and usually know where to find the oh-so important thing they've just lost. I can be lazy, but honestly I think I'm mostly more tired. Last weekend while with 2 amazing friends for a weekend getaway I did some sobering math that still has my mind reeling. I may have said this before, so bear with me if you're bored ok? I have a point I promise. Anyway, I figured out that between when Kid was conceived in April of 2004 and Sunshine was born in April of 2011 I had 6 pregnancies, gave birth 4 separate times, and breastfed all 4 of those kids for at least 8 months. If I add the months I nursed Sunshine we hit December of 2011. Add that up I dare you. Not a mathematics fan? Ok, let me help you. 2004-2011=7 years. 7 years=84 months. Plus 8 months nursing Sunshine =92 months. 4 full term pregnancies + 2 miscarriages in first trimester = 44 months pregnant. I nursed my kids for 10.5, 10, 9.5 & 8 months respectively. 10.5+11+9.5+8=39 months breastfeeding. Can you see where this is going? This means that of 92 previous consecutive months leading up to 2012, I was either pregnant or nursing 83 months!!!! Can we just all soak that in a bit? Momma is TIRED!
My body was not 1 of those "oooh I just loooooove being pregnant and I feel great!" bodies. It hated me, and it wasn't at all sure it like the baby either. I always knew I was pregnant because I started feeling like I was about to come down with the flu; only I'd get morning sickness instead. I felt borderline flu-like throughout all my pregnancies, and obviously didn't get much sleep what with the bladder issues and etc. Also? My kids are not the kind of kids who sleep well--or late. Maybe we are just terrible sleep trainers, maybe they are just hyper like Bob & I, maybe there are gnomes in their closets whispering "wake up wake up, sleep is for the weak!" I don't know. I do know not 1 of them ever slept through the night before 8 months, and Boy held out for 13 months. And for him, once he slept 'all night' meant he woke up at 4:30am. EVERY. DAY. For 8 or 9 months.
Needless to say, I started this year worn out. Little by little I am feeling more able to cope, more able to feel hopeful and energetic and like I can face life and maybe even accomplish things. I rest a lot. I think that is a healthy, useful, acceptable way to spend a good portion of my free time. But this is America folks, and when I look around I just don't see people or places that value healthy, useful ways to spend my time. I see ads for places to go and things to do and "experiences you don't want to miss!" I see kids in school for 7 hours and then in activities for 3 or 4 more hours 5 days a week and several hours more on weekends. And parents who work crazy hours and then stay up all night hand sewing halloween costumes because "crafting is fun". Don't get me wrong, I love watching Kid play soccer, and I do actually enjoy crafty projects. But you know what? I also enjoy sleep. Sleep is God's way of restoring our bodies to balance and health. It keeps us strong and able to think clearly. And I can promise you I do not think clearly if I stay up past 10. 9 or 9:30 would be better, but 10 is the cutoff. When I read that I feel a little old. And a little like I am surely missing out on whatever it is I used to do at night before I had kids.
So how does all this relate to the first paragraph? Well, I am trying to find a way to help my non self-starting self to be more proactive, even it is only with housework. I have been really beating myself up the last few years over how much I don't accomplish in comparison to other people I know, or see on blogs or whatnot. And while it's true I have a lot of room to grow as far as setting achievable goals for keeping the wheels on this crazy little life of ours, I've come to realize 1 other important truth. This season of tiny children and their hundreds of thousands of needs is no walk in the park. I may shake my head at strangers in Target who consistently say "you sure have your hands full!" because I think they're ridiculous but guess what? I do, in fact, have both hands very very full. And I like it. I admit I don't enjoy parts of this journey that are mandatory if I am going to stay home with my children. I loathe laundry and I despise dishes and I can't stand cooking while people hang on my legs and whine. But I DO like raising my kids myself, and not stuffing them into day care. I DO like spending time with all of them each day and knowing what is going on in their heads and lives. I DO like that they know I'll be around.
So I guess I have to find the delicate balance between the reality of my physically labor intensive stage of life and wanting to feel like I've accomplished a concrete task or 2 each day. Anyone have any ideas? All 3 of my readers feel free to comment! :)
Monday, October 1, 2012
Whirlwinds and Illness
First, foremost and always, may I say God is faithful? Thank you. I'll repeat it so it appears without a question mark. God is faithful. And good. And Brooklyn is alive, reasonably well, and has been so miraculously healed that she was released from the London hospital where she eventually arrived and she and her wonderful family returned to our city to finish her recovery. It may take several months before everything is stable enough to even consider their return to Sierra Leone, but she is ALIVE!!!! And she will be at church with us this Sunday. Where my eldest son will undoubtedly make inappropriate exclamations over the number of stitches in her arm. (One of her complications involved an incision the entire length of 1 arm to relieve swelling)
September passed in a tornado of prayer for our sweet girl and her family and we wouldn't have it any other way. Our little faith family really pulls out all the stops when it comes to loving on those of us in crisis and the enormity of Brookie's needs only made that trait shine. Our pastor flew to London on less than 12 hours notice, stayed a week to care and pray and just pour out all the love we feel for them and then came home and preached a sermon about what God taught him while he was away. All of us are just so thankful and relieved and giddy and amazed and generally in awe of all the ways God moved and the miracles he did to save her. I cannot express my joy for her mother, my friend who was at the point of despair when I first posted about their circumstances. It is all just so very very good. We revel in the goodness still, and I think that may go on awhile so forgive me if you get sick of hearing about it. We like revelry when there is such cause as this ok?
October has snuck in with a houseful of sick children which is disappointing but not shocking. Bob was superdad all weekend while I enjoyed a perfect getaway with 2 dear friends. I flew on a plane without children. I ate warm food someone else cooked without once wiping a chin, cutting someone's meat or getting up to fetch condiments napkins or more water for tiny hands. I slept straight through 2 nights in a row folks!!! It was a glimpse of heaven.
Unfortunately for Bob, Boy, Pixie and Sunshine were all sick for at least part of that time. Poor Boy is still miserable and coughing and sad and tired. And has to miss the most important field trip of the year at school tomorrow because he is just too sick. Sunshine got better for a bit but is now fretful and snotty and overtired again which is no fun either. Pixie ran a high fever most of last week and now seems to have generalized her symptoms to pure grumpy impossible-ness with an occasional temperature spike thrown in for good measure. Last night my flight arrived late, and thus I wasn't home until after midnight. Boy and Pixie were both awake, waiting for me. In their beds and quiet, but still awake. And since Boy slept in our bed to keep him from waking Kid and Pixie with his horrendous coughing fits I did not sleep much last night. That is not a complaint, but a factual statement. In light of all that has happened with Brooklyn I have decided I will not complain about sick children this year. Because honestly, what right do I have? They may be sick and cranky and taking care of them may wear me out and frustrate me but guess what? My doctor is 15 minutes away, sees me whenever we need him, answers his cell phone even after hours and has been known to call in a prescription just based on a phone conversation. We have hospitals nearby with all the equipment and expertise I could ever hope for and insurance to pay for it. And no matter how exhausting it may be to care for them and keep the wheels on our daily life, it is beyond unlikely that I will at any point be told my only chance to save their life is to separate myself from them indefinitely and send them thousands of miles away immediately and hope it is soon enough to avert tragedy. That being the case I will simply buy another bottle of children's ibuprofen, hunker down and wait out the snot and the coughing and the grumpy toddler.
If you don't hear from me for a bit, it is doubtless due to the germs my offspring are sharing amongst themselves.
September passed in a tornado of prayer for our sweet girl and her family and we wouldn't have it any other way. Our little faith family really pulls out all the stops when it comes to loving on those of us in crisis and the enormity of Brookie's needs only made that trait shine. Our pastor flew to London on less than 12 hours notice, stayed a week to care and pray and just pour out all the love we feel for them and then came home and preached a sermon about what God taught him while he was away. All of us are just so thankful and relieved and giddy and amazed and generally in awe of all the ways God moved and the miracles he did to save her. I cannot express my joy for her mother, my friend who was at the point of despair when I first posted about their circumstances. It is all just so very very good. We revel in the goodness still, and I think that may go on awhile so forgive me if you get sick of hearing about it. We like revelry when there is such cause as this ok?
October has snuck in with a houseful of sick children which is disappointing but not shocking. Bob was superdad all weekend while I enjoyed a perfect getaway with 2 dear friends. I flew on a plane without children. I ate warm food someone else cooked without once wiping a chin, cutting someone's meat or getting up to fetch condiments napkins or more water for tiny hands. I slept straight through 2 nights in a row folks!!! It was a glimpse of heaven.
Unfortunately for Bob, Boy, Pixie and Sunshine were all sick for at least part of that time. Poor Boy is still miserable and coughing and sad and tired. And has to miss the most important field trip of the year at school tomorrow because he is just too sick. Sunshine got better for a bit but is now fretful and snotty and overtired again which is no fun either. Pixie ran a high fever most of last week and now seems to have generalized her symptoms to pure grumpy impossible-ness with an occasional temperature spike thrown in for good measure. Last night my flight arrived late, and thus I wasn't home until after midnight. Boy and Pixie were both awake, waiting for me. In their beds and quiet, but still awake. And since Boy slept in our bed to keep him from waking Kid and Pixie with his horrendous coughing fits I did not sleep much last night. That is not a complaint, but a factual statement. In light of all that has happened with Brooklyn I have decided I will not complain about sick children this year. Because honestly, what right do I have? They may be sick and cranky and taking care of them may wear me out and frustrate me but guess what? My doctor is 15 minutes away, sees me whenever we need him, answers his cell phone even after hours and has been known to call in a prescription just based on a phone conversation. We have hospitals nearby with all the equipment and expertise I could ever hope for and insurance to pay for it. And no matter how exhausting it may be to care for them and keep the wheels on our daily life, it is beyond unlikely that I will at any point be told my only chance to save their life is to separate myself from them indefinitely and send them thousands of miles away immediately and hope it is soon enough to avert tragedy. That being the case I will simply buy another bottle of children's ibuprofen, hunker down and wait out the snot and the coughing and the grumpy toddler.
If you don't hear from me for a bit, it is doubtless due to the germs my offspring are sharing amongst themselves.
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